2011 in Review

Sarah here.  I just wanted to spend a few minutes reflecting on our 2011 year.  It was a roller coaster for sure!  There were moments where we both wanted the ride to stop.  Even amidst all of the ups and downs, we both grew so much, and I wouldn't trade that growth.

At this time last year, I had just met our first birth mother.  I drove with a friend to meet her and take her to the doctor.  We found out she was having a boy.  The next few weeks were full of hope and anxious waiting.  I took her to another appointment two weeks after meeting her, and she told me she was going to keep the baby.  She wasn't sure where she was going to live or how she was going to care for her child, but she no longer wanted to discuss adoption.  While this was a sad moment, we knew that it was God's will.  We were encouraged even in our sadness to see God working actively in our lives.  We still think about the first baby and pray for his safety.

While finishing up the basketball season and all of the stress / busy schedules involved in coaching middle school, we had another birth mother approach us about adoption.  We knew this woman personally and felt encouraged that she could be involved in her baby's life after the adoption was finalized.  Over the next several months, the situation went from ok to bad to worse.  To make a long story shorter, after we met with the lawyer to begin the paperwork, the birth mother started to change.  I feared she was changing her mind about the adoption, but she continually reassured me that she was not changing her mind.  Throughout this time, she said and did hurtful things, but we continued to hold hope that we were still in God's hands.  When the due date came and went, we began to get concerned that some of her paperwork was still not in our lawyer's hands.  June 1 we found out through our lawyer that the birth mother had already had the baby and did not tell us that she had changed her mind.  While having the adoption fall through was painful enough, what made it worse was that someone who had been a friend of ours continually lied and betrayed us.  It was very difficult to overcome that hurt and to finally forgive her.  We certainly don't blame her for keeping her child, but we just wish she would have told us that she'd changed her mind.

In order to deal with this loss and to get a fresh start, we took a trip to Disney World!  For months, we'd been planning to go to Disney if the adoption did not go through.  When we finally got the news, we booked our trip and got away.  The week at Disney was so refreshing for us.  We spent time together having fun and enjoying our favorite vacation spot!  It was a huge blessing to be able to take that trip when our hearts were so broken.

Throughout all of this, I had been attending Celebrate Recovery (http://www.celebraterecovery.com/).  This is a Christ-centered recovery program based on the Beatitudes from Matthew 5.  Being in this group and hearing amazing stories of healing and hope helped me deal with all of the stress and hurt from each step of the second adoption.  No hurt, habit, or hangup is beyond God's healing.  I have grown so much through this program.  I am seeing Scripture in a new light and giving God my hurts.  He has brought so much healing already to my life, and I am excited to see what else is in store for me.

After my first summer off (I've always taught summer school until this year), the school year started.  We hit the ground running!  I was blessed to have an amazing student teacher throughout the first ten weeks of school.  He was so great with the kids and brought some fresh perspective from his experiences and classes.  I learned a lot from him, and I hope he learned a lot from me as well.  Our school actually had an opening at the semester, and we hired my student teacher!  Our department has changed quite a bit since last year, but we are becoming a cohesive team that supports one another and strives for excellence.  It is exciting to be a part of this team and to grow and work with amazing people!  I truly love what I do!  While it can be stressful and challenging, I am fulfilled.

Now, in the swing of another basketball season (this is my 5th year coaching girls' basketball), I'm attempting to find balance in my schedule.  I want to work less, spend more time with friends and family, encourage others, heal from my hurts, habits, and hangups, and continue to see the plans God has for my life.  Happy New Year! 

No Caffeine: Day 3... the final day!

I will preface this post by saying that I am drinking a cup of fabulous, warm coffee right this minute!

My hardcore dieting and no caffeine lasted three days!  After two days of caffeine headaches, I am never quitting coffee cold turkey again!  To be more realistic, I'm probably never quitting coffee period! 

Day 3 - I woke up with just a slight headache, took some advil, and went to basketball practice.  I ate a banana and an apple for breakfast.  I really don't like bananas that much... but I powered through.  I ran a bunch of errands around town and went to the grocery store.  I found some good deals on more apples and veggies.  When I got home, I made myself a lunch of yogurt & granola and some bread & cheese.  While it fulfilled my hunger, it wasn't that exciting since I'd had pretty much the same thing the day before.

By the time Kevin got home from work, I'd pretty much decided that I am not hardcore enough to cut out all of my favorites (hamburgers, tortilla chips, coffee!!!).  When he decided that he'd had enough of life without coffee, we scrapped the whole diet and returned to normal life!  This was conveniently timed because we ended up going to dinner with friends.  I ate chips & salsa and a chicken caesar salad without the dressing.  Still pretty healthy, but I allowed myself the tortilla chips to splurge! 

All in all, it was an interesting experience, but I'm not disciplined enough to continue 14 days without my favorite beverage!  Ahhh... coffee, I've missed you!

No Caffeine: Day 2

Caffeine withdrawal!!!!  I really missed my coffee this morning.  I ate an apple for breakfast.  It's not the same as coffee!  I've been sporting a killer headache all day and have felt kinda crappy most of the day, too.  My body's working through the caffeine withdrawal.  I've also been craving chips and salsa ALL day!  Every time I walk by the kitchen or pantry, I can hear tortilla chips calling my name!  I've stayed strong, though.

I've been super sleepy all day, so I think I'm going to call it a night early and get some needed rest.  I'm really hoping that the headaches are gone by tomorrow...

No Caffeine: Day 1 Update

I'm really glad that I'm detoxing the caffeine over Winter Break... my kids would call me a mean teacher if I was at school today.  Without my coffee this morning, I've turned into Grouchy Sarah!!!  Yikes!  I've had a significant headache all day, but I'm keeping it at bay with some Advil.  From previous caffeine detoxing, I know that the first day and a half are the worst.  This time tomorrow, most of the caffeine will be out of my system, and I won't be dragging quite so much! 

I ate some turkey for lunch, yes, just turkey!  I needed to run some errands, so I just heated up some turkey and scarfed it down.  Then I had some Greek yogurt and granola for a snack just now.

I also went grocery shopping and loaded up on fruits and veggies.  Kroger had a good sale on apples and oranges!!  I bought some Kale... never eaten it before, but it's supposed to be rich in vitamins and nutriuents... yikes.  I'm scared...

Hopefully now with a snack in my tummy and some food in the house, I'll be less grouchy! 

No Caffeine!!!

Seriously!  We cut out caffeine for two weeks!  We're trying to eat healthier.  With that we decided to do a juice fast to cleanse our systems of all the toxins and junk food.  So for the next few days, we're eating super healthy to prepare for the juice fast.  We'll do the juice-only fast for 3-5 days depending on doctor approval, and then we'll eat super healthy for a few days after that to ease our bodies back into a normal food routine. 

As of this morning, we have cut out caffeine, alcohol, red meat, processed food, and all junk food for the next two weeks.  What's left???  Fruit, veggies, chicken, turkey, yogurt, granola, pasta, dairy, and juicer-made juice.  Both of us have been looking toward a more healthy diet anyway, and with the purchase of a Jack La Lanne juicer (http://www.powerjuicer.com/), we decided to boost the health food kick with juicing!  We then watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead (a documentary about juicing - http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/).  After that we decided to try a short juice fast. 

Today is day one of NO CAFFEINE!!!!!!  I already miss my morning coffee.  I took some Advil this morning to lessen the caffeine headache... not looking forward to that!  I will be missing my Diet Coke this afternoon as well.  We will blog throughout the next few weeks to document our caffeine withdrawals and our successes!

I made juice for breakfast - about 1 cup of fresh cabbage, 2 handfuls of spinach, 2 celery stalks, about 7 carrots, 3 apples, and a handful of blackberries.  This made two big glasses for Kevin and I.  It takes more like veggies today than usual.  If I add an orange in the mix, you can hardly taste the veggies.  Bottoms up on the breakfast juice and goodbye to coffee for the next two weeks.  More updates coming soon!

Summer Update

Well, we are 0 for 2 on the adoption front.  The second adoption attempt also fell through at the last minute.  It's not the happiest of situations, but we know that God's still got our best interests in mind.  We're glad to be off of the adoption roller coaster for the time.  It's been such an up and down journey that we are not pursuing another adoption right now.  We need a break from putting our lives on hold and from the emotional ups and downs.

Sarah is not teaching summer school this year - it's the first summer she's had "off" since she began in education.  She is enjoying the slower pace of life during the summer days.  There's more time to read, play, be with friends, and coupon.  Yes, she's jumped on the couponing bandwagon.  It's crazy, but we're already seeing some consistent savings in our grocery purchases.

We just got back from a trip to Disney.  We took a much-needed vacation to get away from the adoption drama and recharge our batteries from all of the emotional stress that we've been through the last few months.  We had a great time, and we are constantly reminded of how much fun we have - just the two of us!

Adoption Update! :)

Our last post shared that the first adoption fell through about five weeks before the expected due date.  While that was a painful event, we knew that God was still working out His best for our family.  We chose to remain optimistic that God did want us to continue to pursue adoption.  This is a calling that has been on my heart for about ten years.  Whether we have a bunch of our own or not, I've always wanted to adopt at least two children.

That being said, a very dear friend of mine made the decision that she was not going to keep her baby.  She struggled with that decision, and I remained supportive to help her out in any way that I could.  I was beginning to research agencies for her to contact when she mentioned that she might want Kevin and I to adopt her baby.  Knowing that we have a close friendship, I was worried that adopting her baby might put a strain on our friendship or drive it apart altogether.  The more we talked about it, the more I began to see that her desire was to be open in the adoption - to be able to see the child grow up and know that she had picked a good family.  

One morning, we met at IHOP (yum!) to catch up and talk about the adoption.  She told us that if we were willing she wanted us to adopt her baby.  We had been praying about it and knew that if she really wanted to choose us, we would not turn her down.  We were hesitant to share this big news because of how the first adoption ended in the last month of the first birthmother's pregnancy.  Birthmothers have the option to change their minds up until 10 days after the adoptive parents take custody of the baby.  So, while things are still very up in the air, we have been making significant steps towards adopting this little one. 

We met with an adoption lawyer this week and made sure that everything on our end of the adoption is taken care of.  All of our paperwork is in, and now we wait!  Our birthmother has to complete some family history information and decide her hospital plan.  She will determine who will get to see, hold, feed, and change the baby while in the hospital, and she decides who will be allowed to see her in the hospital as well.  We still have to get the birthfather to sign off on the adoption,too.  Once all of this paperwork is complete we will be done until the baby is born.  

Our birthmother is having a BOY and she is due at the end of May!!!!  We appreciate your prayers for us, the baby, and our birthmother as we continue to move forward with this adoption.  Pray for patience and preparation as we wait to become parents.  Pray for our birthmother to have peace and healing throughout the painful process.  Pray for God's will to be done, and pray that we can accept His will - whatever it is.  Pray for our baby to continue to grow strong and healthy!

Adoption Update

After weeks and weeks of hearing NOTHING about our adoption, we were starting to get discouraged.  From what we knew, the baby was due January 11. 

We stayed in Tennessee for the holidays just in case she went into labor and called us.  When school started back up, we were starting to feel discouraged.  That Monday night, I asked our home group to really pray for patience for us and for God to do His will in this situation.  We hadn't heard from our birthmother in weeks, and weren't sure if she was still wanting adoption.

The next day.... I got a call from our friend.  She had been in touch with the birthmother!  The day after that, we learned that the doctor had agreed to see our birthmother!  So, Thursday, I went with our mutual friend and spent the day with our birthmother.  We went to the doctor and to get an ultrasound.  Ultimately, we learned that the due date was incorrect.  Both the doctor and the ultrasound tech put her around 33 weeks. 

She was still undecided - between adoption and keeping the baby.  I assured her that we would be praying for her to make a good decision, and that we were with ok with whatever her decision may be. 

Fast forward to this week.  After three consecutive snow days (!!!) I was waiting to see if we would be out for a fourth day in a row.  Our friend texted me and let me know that our birthmother had an appointment the next day.  When we got the call that school was cancelled again, I quickly agreed to go to the appointment!  Through a last minute issue, our mutual friend could not attend the appointment.  So, I went by myself. 

While in the waiting room, I asked her if she had thought any more about her decision.  She told me that she feels like she has to at least try to parent this baby.  She has decided to keep the baby.  She feels like this is her chance to turn her life around.

So, right now, it appears that this adoption will not go through.  Of course, there is still time left in this situation.  Our birthmother may change her mind again.  We are trusting that God is working things out in His timing!  If this is the baby for us, He will make that happen.  If this is not the baby for us, the right baby will come into our lives at the right time. 

While this is painful to have our plans changing, we know that God's will is being done.  We are trusting Him in this time.  We pray continually for our birthmother - if she wants to parent, we pray that she is successful with this baby.

A Year in Review

    Over the last few days as we have been working on Christmas cards and getting prepared for the baby coming, I've realized how many changes we've gone through this year.  Normally, change is a hard, difficult thing, but I think both Sarah and I would agree that the changes of this year have been challenging but well worth the effort.
     The first main change started before 2010 had even began.  Last year, we had been going to a large church in the area, but we weren't feeling connected to anyone.  So on the Christmas Eve service we tried a church a friend of Sarah had recommended.  We stopped by Harpeth Community Church and really felt a warmth from the people as well as some great Scripture based teaching. Little did we know this would be the start of a busy year.
     After that service we quickly decided this was where we wanted to be.  We jumped in with both feet and did the very first membership class offered and got into a book study group right away in January.  From there it was getting involved in the Men's and Women's ministries, serving on the worship and production teams, and volunteering in the children's Sunday School. It has been a place that has challenged and grown us both, as well as, helping us to meet some of new best friends!
    In March we took our dream vacation and got to spend a week at Disney World in Florida.  This was something we'd been planning and waiting on for almost 8 months, so it was like Christmas Day when we finally got to head out.  We stayed at the All-star Music Resort on the Disney Property and got to experience the "Extra Magic Hours" that let resort guests stay in the park until 3am some nights! We completed a personal challenge to see and do everything on the map in the Magic Kingdom park over the course of our week.  Sarah has since made an amazing scrapbook of our adventures that week which she will proudly show any who are interested.  In the end, it was just a great time to be together and have fun as a couple in one of our favorite places.
    Another change that has been in process, was Culinary School for me (Kevin).  I started taking classes in Fall of 2009 and completed my first year of the two year program in May.  I have had classes in general cooking skills, sauce making, meat cookery, and beginning baking.  On top of that I have studied nutrition, sanitation, and inventory/purchasing.  Due to being laid off of work (I will discuss next) I took the Fall of 2010 off of school, but plan on taking more classes in 2011.  I'm sure you're asking yourself what I plan to do with these new skills.  The short answer is, I'm not sure!  I've been working on my dessert skills and would like to eventually have a part-time dessert/cake business.  Who knows, if I come into a lot of money I would love to open a restaurant.
     So the next event in 2010 came in May when I was laid off from my job of three years as the whole department was let go.  It had strictly been a business decision and so I didn't have any big sense of failure, just worry about finding something new.  During what turned out to be my two months of unemployment, I was encouraged by friends at church, found a place to volunteer, and generally saw God providing for all our financial needs.  The job that I eventually got was also a God thing.  Out of the blue a manager from my old company called me and asked if I would be interested in applying back with the company for a promotion in another department.  With only slight hesitation, I went for it.  After completing the interview process I was offered the job.  As I said, this was a promotion with better pay, more freedom and a great team to work with.  I am constantly feeling blessed by this new opportunity and have enjoyed the last 5 months in my new position.
      Sarah also went through some changes.  After 2 years teaching and coaching in another county and driving almost 45 minutes each way to work, she found an opening at the school about 5 minutes from our house.  This has been a huge blessing for her.  The team she works with in the Special Education department is top-notch and they constantly challenge and support each other to be the best everyday.  In addition, Sarah was an assistant volleyball coach this Fall.  As she has previously written, this was a new adventure for her, but one she has greatly enjoyed.
     Lastly, but definitely not least, we have been working through the adoption process this Fall with the intention of our baby being born the end of December/beginning of January.  Even though this is a domestic adoption it has been a stressful and worrisome few months.  We continue to feel strongly that God has opened this door wide for us, but have to continually seek His peace as we wait on details and timing of things.  
      This year has been one long, exciting adventure for us as a couple and God willing we will end the year with one more Honett in the clan! We hope this gives you a brief update of our life in the last 365 days.

anxious

I have been worrying about our adoption today.  Our communication with our birth mother has been on and off - mostly due to the fact that we do not have direct access to our birth mother yet.  We have to go through a chain of communication.  It's been about a week since we've heard anything, and I am trying to be patient.

I know that God is working in our best interests, and I know that He has already gone before us in this whole situation.  Still, I am worrying.  With so much still "up in the air" about this adoption, it is easy to become discouraged.  I am fighting that!

Kevin's facebook status was a good reminder for me today...  He posted Matthew 6:34 - "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Psalm 139:23 - "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts."

Most of all, I need to remember Philippians 4:6 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Hope these words will encourage you in your situation, as they have encouraged me in our adoption.  I will keep praying for our birth mother and for our baby.  I will keep asking God to go before us in every step of this process.  I will not be anxious.