Sarah here. I just wanted to spend a few minutes reflecting on our 2011 year. It was a roller coaster for sure! There were moments where we both wanted the ride to stop. Even amidst all of the ups and downs, we both grew so much, and I wouldn't trade that growth.
At this time last year, I had just met our first birth mother. I drove with a friend to meet her and take her to the doctor. We found out she was having a boy. The next few weeks were full of hope and anxious waiting. I took her to another appointment two weeks after meeting her, and she told me she was going to keep the baby. She wasn't sure where she was going to live or how she was going to care for her child, but she no longer wanted to discuss adoption. While this was a sad moment, we knew that it was God's will. We were encouraged even in our sadness to see God working actively in our lives. We still think about the first baby and pray for his safety.
While finishing up the basketball season and all of the stress / busy schedules involved in coaching middle school, we had another birth mother approach us about adoption. We knew this woman personally and felt encouraged that she could be involved in her baby's life after the adoption was finalized. Over the next several months, the situation went from ok to bad to worse. To make a long story shorter, after we met with the lawyer to begin the paperwork, the birth mother started to change. I feared she was changing her mind about the adoption, but she continually reassured me that she was not changing her mind. Throughout this time, she said and did hurtful things, but we continued to hold hope that we were still in God's hands. When the due date came and went, we began to get concerned that some of her paperwork was still not in our lawyer's hands. June 1 we found out through our lawyer that the birth mother had already had the baby and did not tell us that she had changed her mind. While having the adoption fall through was painful enough, what made it worse was that someone who had been a friend of ours continually lied and betrayed us. It was very difficult to overcome that hurt and to finally forgive her. We certainly don't blame her for keeping her child, but we just wish she would have told us that she'd changed her mind.
In order to deal with this loss and to get a fresh start, we took a trip to Disney World! For months, we'd been planning to go to Disney if the adoption did not go through. When we finally got the news, we booked our trip and got away. The week at Disney was so refreshing for us. We spent time together having fun and enjoying our favorite vacation spot! It was a huge blessing to be able to take that trip when our hearts were so broken.
Throughout all of this, I had been attending Celebrate Recovery (http://www.celebraterecovery.com/). This is a Christ-centered recovery program based on the Beatitudes from Matthew 5. Being in this group and hearing amazing stories of healing and hope helped me deal with all of the stress and hurt from each step of the second adoption. No hurt, habit, or hangup is beyond God's healing. I have grown so much through this program. I am seeing Scripture in a new light and giving God my hurts. He has brought so much healing already to my life, and I am excited to see what else is in store for me.
After my first summer off (I've always taught summer school until this year), the school year started. We hit the ground running! I was blessed to have an amazing student teacher throughout the first ten weeks of school. He was so great with the kids and brought some fresh perspective from his experiences and classes. I learned a lot from him, and I hope he learned a lot from me as well. Our school actually had an opening at the semester, and we hired my student teacher! Our department has changed quite a bit since last year, but we are becoming a cohesive team that supports one another and strives for excellence. It is exciting to be a part of this team and to grow and work with amazing people! I truly love what I do! While it can be stressful and challenging, I am fulfilled.
Now, in the swing of another basketball season (this is my 5th year coaching girls' basketball), I'm attempting to find balance in my schedule. I want to work less, spend more time with friends and family, encourage others, heal from my hurts, habits, and hangups, and continue to see the plans God has for my life. Happy New Year!
